Humorous Wedding Toasts

Giving humorous wedding toasts is a great way to liven up a reception.

So, if you are a person that does not think you can give a sentimental or emotional wedding speech in front of a group of people, then you should consider giving a funny toast.

The easiest and favorite funny toasts are just humorous anecdotes.

An anecdote not only personalizes your toast but is easy to deliver.

Just recall a funny story about the bride or groom. However, try not to offend anyone and always end your toast on a serious note.

Also, you can tell a joke at the beginning of your toast.

This can be a joke about the bride or groom's profession, the college they attended, a hobby they enjoy, or how they met.

JOKES

Here are some examples of one-liners that can be used.

Hopefully, these will give you some ideas to help get you started in writing your own humorous wedding toast. (Many of these one-liners are from the "Complete Book of Wedding Toasts", by Diane Warner.)

Any married man can have his own way as long as he agrees with his wife.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

It doesn't really take that much to get married these days: two loving people, a commitment, a handsome groom, a beautiful bride, a bag of rice...and about $25,000.

Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Here's a piece of cowboy advice: There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.

A married man is one who replaces the money in his wallet with a photo of his wife.

What is a husband? A husband is that mysterious creature who buys his football tickets in June and his wife's Christmas present on December 24th.

What is a marriage? It is an alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

(Bride's name), please place your hand on the table in front of you. Now (Groom's name), put your hand on top of (Bride's name). I want everybody in the room to see the last time (Groom's name) has the upper hand!